Go Your Own Way
Right now, in this moment, what do you want most of all?
It could be:
to eat well,
to get organised,
to feel calmer,
a strong marriage,
to join a club,
to quit your job,
to start working.
Anything! You are actually allowed to want things that other people might not feel comfortable about.
Perhaps you want to head back to work and your partner isn’t thrilled about taking up more of the load at home.
Perhaps you would love to quit working, or pull back, but your partner isn’t happy about tightening the purse strings.
Perhaps you have always wanted to join a choir but friends would think that’s crazy.
Here’s the clincher. You can want away. You can desire things to change - but in my experience this often means something needs to be let go of. And that’s uncomfortable.
Let go, you ask?
Wondering what I’m talking about?
OK - here’s what I mean in a tangible example...
I really wanted to create a business that felt fun, that I could do ‘around the kids’ and reflected my personal values of simplicity and authenticity.
But in 2015 I was DROWNING! I was all the overwhelm.
This did not feel the way I wanted it to, but I had a BELIEF that it was only working because it was chaotic. That the chaos and crazy deadlines were actually what I needed. I thought other women resonated with the clutter, the scattered-ness, the business was successful because I was drowning, just like them.
Can you see how limiting that is?
That a belief (a story I had completely made up in my head) was keeping me chaotic and over-worked.
When I realised that I needed to let go of things in order to create what I really wanted I had to get honest with myself. And it was confronting because I needed to change some beliefs/stories.
In order to do that, we must recognise that we are ALWAYS working from our subconscious beliefs. That 95% of what we do is HABIT - we are not even thinking consciously about why we do or don’t do things, it’s just become habitual.
So in this exercise think about what you want, and the reasons you tell yourself you cannot have them.
Is it a belief?
“I am alone”
“This is the way it is and there’s nothing I can do to change it”
“It would be too disruptive to the family” (YES - this is a belief you have - it’s not necessarily the truth)
Is it someone else’s ideas of what is right for you?
“My family would think I’m nuts”
“It would upset [insert person] if I was to be successful and happy”
Do you need to reduce commitments to some things so you can make time for what matters?
Do you need to let go of certain people in your life?
Do you need to let go of chaos?
Do you need to choose to let go of the overwhelm? (Yep - I made a choice - and once I decided I didn’t want to live like that - everything changed - I sought ways to not be overwhelmed. Because here’s the thing - you are wherever your attention is. If your attention is on your constant overwhelm you will continue to be overwhelmed. If you shift your attention to expansive days and feeling on time and less stressed you will create exactly that.)
Fill out the worksheet and see what comes up for you. In order to make room for the things you want - what needs to go? Be honest with yourself. Share your results in our Facebook Group.
What is your biggest hairiest scariest WANT? If you’re being completely honest with yourself? Write it in a space on the manifesto or choose a picture that reflects it and stick it on.