In this one life.

What does that really mean dudes?  It is as literal as it comes.  We get one.  Each.

But it is also a question that asks more of you than you may be able to answer at this moment.

What do you really want in this one and only life?  Reflecting on your values is important because they can help create boundaries and congruency around our life.

I am the type of person that was blindsided by the enormity of this question.  Maybe you are filled with certainty; the boat, the yearly fishing trip up north.  House paid off by 55 and an investment fund that pays your lifestyle.  And that is great.  My hat off to you sincerely.

But I am still going to ask:  What do you want from this one life?  Let’s dream a bit.  You want to be a writer?  A musician?  You want a bucket list accomplished BEFORE the doctor gives you the bad news.  But you’re fucking forty and fat and mortgaged up the asshole.

Get honest.  What do you want from this one life?

It is easy to roll your eyes at this point.  “Mate”, you say, “I’ve got kids in private school – I HAVE to make the fees every semester”.  And that may be true.  But remember dudes, faith in the script that was handed to you – get a secure job, climb the corporate ladder, etc. whatever it fucking is, is a script with no playwright.  We just accept the script like it is some gospel from some external source given to you.

Remember YOU ARE THE PLAYWRITE, so take it seriously.

My daughter is five.  She already knows I am unhappy at work.  She is intuitive and feels the mood when I arrive home.  Come ten years’ time and I could say “I did it all for you daughter”, and she could say, “Don’t blame me for your regrets, I would have much preferred an inspired dad, rather than a flogged and grumpy dad”.  And that future daughter is correct.  I am the script writer, I am the fear but leaning in and doing it anyway; starting a business, learning a new language, getting off my ass and choosing the “I could do that”, then do it.

Get honest. What do you want from this one life?

I’ve written things like - a vineyard.  As in - I don’t want to go through this one life without at least trying to make my own drinkable wine.

It might end up that I don’t have acres of vines all neatly rowed (because in this one life compromise always plays a big part), but I may volunteer at a winery while growing a few rows of grapes – and that is cool.  That is a big tick.

I’m not going to flog myself to have everything - this is not a goal setting exercise as much as reflecting and refining exercise.

Your life, this ONE life, matters. What do you want from it?

Though it may terrify you, pick a drum and bang it.

And most importantly, after you get honest, I want you to communicate it to your partner.  Not aggressively, but assertively, because if you both assert what you want and together work like hell and compromise when necessary as a team – you are unstoppable.