What the hell are they? Sometime ago if someone asked me what I valued I would have said, good beer.
I still value a good beer, but my life has changed and I now get how values can give me a compass point when making decision.
I reckon we should define values as your deepest desires for how you want to behave in the world as a bloke. They are how you want to behave on an on-going basis, yet as you mature, learn and re-evaluate, values can change over time and that is ok. They can change yet remember they are the principles that help guide our behaviour.
They are fundamental beliefs that help me choose one thing over another.
So if I value friendliness, it reminds me to introduce myself to my new neighbour and tell him that tonight is garbage bin night. It also helps me feel strong in the decision to encourage my children to include the shy kids in the playground – because I was the shy kid in the playground.
When friends and family express ideas on what I ‘should’ be doing - I hold strong to my decisions and direction because I’m clear on my values and what defines a good life for me. Defining and being guided by values is a sure way to nourish a self-esteem.
Dude, your values don’t need to be the same as your Dad’s, your brother, your friend, your workmate.
They are yours.
We’ve included the values exercise for blokes because Lisa and I have found that our values differ. Often big time. And it can cause arguments.
Having a really good understanding of what you stand for, and what she stands for (as in - your values) will be a huge benefit to your partnership. While I thought I knew her and she knew me - there were brilliant insights we got after doing this exercise together.
Ok, so here’s what you do:
- Scan the list below and write down any that feel meaningful to you.
- Then whittle them down
- Choose your top 10 and write them in your worksheet.
- And then rate them in level of importance.
- Reflect on your list.
- Is your life a reflection of these values?
LIST OF VALUES
| Authenticity Achievement Activeness Adaptability Adventure Authority Autonomy Balance Beauty Belonging Boldness Bravery Calmness Celebrity Certainty Clarity Community Compassion Community Competency Confidence Connection Contribution Creativity Curiosity Determination Directness Discipline |
Ease Efficiency Elegance Energy Fairness Faith Fame Fidelity Fitness Freedom Friendship Fun Grace Growth Happiness Honesty Humor Independence Influence Inner Harmony Justice Kindness Knowledge Leadership Learning Love Loyalty |
Making a difference Meaningful Work Modesty Nature Neatness Openness Optimism Order Outdoors Partnership Passion Peace Playfulness Pleasure Popularity Power Recognition Relaxation Reliability Reputation Respect Responsibility Sacrifice Satisfaction Security Self-Respect Sensuality |
Service Sharing Simplicity Spirituality Spontaneity Solidarity Stability Success Status Strength Teamwork Thoroughness Tidiness Tradition Trustworthiness Unity Usefulness Wealth Winning Wisdom Worthiness |