Let me ask you – do you classify yourself as a ‘perfectionist’?
Do you hold yourself to ridiculously high standards?
Do you find that your mind chatter is all about what you are NOT doing well enough?
Here’s what I want you to know about perfection: it’s an illusion. Straight up – it doesn’t exist. It’s a story you are telling yourself about the way you think things should be. It’s all a story. It’s made up in your head and you are grinding yourself into the ground to reach this illusion that’s not even real.
We can’t do it all. We just can’t. There’s so much pressure to be all things to all people and it’s driving us a little nuts.
The video this week is all about you getting honest with yourself about where in your life ‘OK’ is good enough.
I want to share a little story with you…. I remember when I first moved to Brisbane back in 2012 and was making new friends. There was a playgroup near where we lived so my house became a meeting point and a place to have lunch afterwards.
The playgroup was Tuesday, so I’d spend the whole of Monday cleaning the house, that had somehow gotten FILTHY since the previous Tuesday.
I’d find myself wiping the skirting boards and doing crazy things. I wanted them to think I was a tidy person (not my natural state!). I was trying to impress these women. I’d make food for the kids, food for the adults.
It ended up being a lot of work!
Until I suddenly realised I had a choice and didn’t have to make this an amazing experience in a spotless house each week. I had been saying no to other people bringing food – because it was my house.
Sharing the load, not having a spotless house – it’s most certainly enough. And here’s the thing. When I stopped doing a full blown clean – no-one noticed. And if they did, they didn’t stop being my friends. And sharing the food became an awesome experience that we’d look forward to each week.
Where are you holding yourself to impossible standards in your life?
As a daughter? A wife?
As a volunteer?
Are there areas here where doing an OK job is actually good enough? Is there anything you could pull back a little on? Could you forgive yourself, let it go and move on with the business of enjoying life? Notice how you feel when I even ask you that? A next step you can take here is to think about why you are obsessed with controlling everything around you. What do you hope to gain by living to these unrealistic standards?
Go on – find ways in which you can lower your load. It’s not selfish – it’s ESSENTIAL to live a life that feels easier and less overwhelming.
I created this video a couple of years ago as part of the Back to You program. I hope you enjoy it now, and I’m looking forward to bringing you some brand new video’s in November (ummm how are we almost there!?).